Somewhere I wanna go back.

While studying, I heard this sound from iTunes. That's how "Love What Happened Here" impressed me.



"I have ever heard just like this sound," sometimes, I think. And I usually like "ever-heard sounds." But it's different from that. It has something nostalgic, and makes a gentle noise inside my heart just like as similar to that of leaves moved by the wind. It makes me feel like "going back somewhere." "Somewhere" is not known by even me. "Somewhere" is not a certain place. But, I sometimes think like that. Or, sometimes, I also think "I want to meet someone." "Someone" is not a certain person, either. Recently, I wonder "meet" in this hope did not have even literally meaning. Those of hope may not be "hope." They may be just murmured words. Only, I know that I feel nostalgic and calm with murmuring those words in my head. It may sound strange. Anyway, I don't know what was working inside of me while I'm listening it, but for me, it has something of touching my heart. That was just like the way "Just the two of us" had impressed me.



*****

I found an interesting interview of casts of the drama "Carnation". Kaoru Kobayashi (as heroin's father) said "Nobody in this drama doesn't reflect. Thinking carefully, in ordinary life, we can't reflect our habits easily. Furthermore, we can't reevaluate our own behavior easily, though we have to do. In other drama, everybody can improve their behavior at once, but it must be impossible actually." I totally agreed. As for me, I don't have guts than I'm looked. I'm lazy. I'm not so good at communicating with someone. I'm care about others' eyes too much. And I'm apt to dream. It is boundless if I give it. I've tried to improve them, but unfortunately, to make matters worse, I'm so forgetful, especially, about inconvenient thing for me. Because I can't even turn upon, I may only live modestly. I hate all my faults. Without them, I might be able to live better. If so, by now, I might have my family or regular job, and I might be rich. Without them, I would not be who I am now.



*****

I'm sorry for my journal written in shaky English.
If you find a mistake, please tell me secretly.