Saying good-bye.

I've read something about "a ceremony." I forgot its title or who wrote this. But in that, it was written like, "Ceremony is needed to break up something. In particular, we need it when someone died." Old burial mound and pyramid means like that. That I don't forget means it was so interesting ideas for me. But, I didn't understand what it means correctly, though I've felt like having understood it a little. My ex-boss send me some e-mails to me. One of those, he said "his face was beautiful yet."

I remembered two of my grand-dads' face in coffin, and his corpse was burned. I was so shocked, but I could understand his body was a sign of his life, and he was not here no more. It was so cruel, but really, really, a holy and important meaning for me. I'll never forget when I picked up and inserted my grand-dads' burned bones into a mortuary urn. It was so sad, but we could check his bones, like metal was buried because of his injuries, we could realize his life, and we could say good-bye to our own minds thinking of him. And also, I tried to remember the day of "her" dead. I've lost my words, and I reached her favorite bar. In this bar, when I was drinking, everybody, one by one gathered there. It was miracle. We had some quiet talks about her with drinking with crying. Thinking carefully, I didn't do nothing for her. I may have lost my way. After a while, I send her father a magazine that I was helped by her. She must not be satisfied with that, so I remembered her again and again.

This time, I hope to do something for him or his family, I sent his wife a telegram for the first time in my life. Several times, I found it a really real thing while I was looking for some sample sentences. I'm so lonely, but I thought I should say good-bye to him. I remembered my boss's mail, I realized his bones will be burned in the morning tomorrow. I imagined that. I thought it was still awful.

It started raining, but it's not so cold. I wish it'll be fine tomorrow at least.

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