Please let me pray.

When the king takes sides,
leaving moral minds; soldiers take their share.
Nighthawks seem to sense that now is the time.
Deep inside them burns the raging fire of life.
He'll take back what he owns.
(King and Cross)

I took a result of rejection. I was shocked. Because according to prior results judgment, I would pass easily. I've lost my mind for a while, so I went outside to calm down my thought. I took the judgement of the university that accounted only the result of the National Center Test, I thought it was better than I expected, but it was not enough to pass. Maybe, the test like that was taken most of the examinees same as me. But maybe,.. by any chance,.. what if I made a big mistake, for example mark mistakes? I should not count the result of the National Center Test. I mean, I should do all I can do. Or, I will fail completely that.

All I see is you. Stars. Open-arms. Pharaohs. God. Golden.
All I see is you. Stars. Open-arms. Pharaohs. God. Kings and queens.
Breath slow. Be low. Capacity is unfulfilled take the lead you will.
Head raised. Un-caged. More to do there's more for you.

You may not be able to believe that. In spite of myself, I have asked a question to my friend about three months ago. "Can I keep our relationships even if I should have failed?" You may think it be strange. I was so nervous that I couldn't stop asking like that. I will be ashamed of myself not to success in my mission. I will lost not only confidence but also trust of myself. How do my friends or family feel about? I'm afraid of that. I know that I can't even judge a person by the name of the university where he or she graduated. And I have never judged like that. But, I can't stop thinking "what if I failed??" Many people may say "you have a very tiny heart." It's so funny, you may laugh, but it's real. It's ironically a truth. I'm afraid of my failure, and people's measure of me at all.

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