God Only Knows.

Know this day has start with me
We're gonna walk this land together
(Walk This Land)

At this time tomorrow, I'll be in Tokushima. And at this time two days after tomorrow, I'll have been at home. I have no confidence actually. I just try to hide my heart shaking. It's impossible not to be nervous, and I wonder why I'd never been nervous when I was a high school student. I was full of confidence, and I didn't know it's so important for my life. Compared to that, now, I can't have any good image of my success. What if I could do nothing? What if I failed in everything? Can I keep myself with that? I'm anxious for myself. As I told many times, I know it's not the most important thing. But, being refused can never be welcome things.

Enokido Ichiro had said "Japanese Baby Boomers are the group demanded to do or have the most different things from the another person. And also, they can be only the same person as the others, because they are the group demanded too much." And finally, they destroyed traditional manners and customs completely. Whether it's good or not is non of my business. Everything will take their own courses by repeated in our dairy lives. Everything will not be given by a certain person. And it is to have been already over. "Destroyed" is not always a bad thing. Because we should look back and think one by one carefully, when we reconstruct our dairy lives. I look back and think, "Did I destroy everything of myself same as them? What did I want to be like? What made me struggle so much?" I try to say to myself again, "now, you don't have to care whether the answers are correct or not". It reminded me that the beginning of this re-new life, I decided to appreciate the present days. It must be OK that I care about my mere pride. It may be OK as long as I recognize my condition honesty. All of them will take their own courses.

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what I'd be without you
(God Only Knows)

It reminds me that my friend misheard "God only knows(神のみぞ知る)" into "God's Miso soup(神のみそ汁)" in my childhood.


I'm sorry for my journal written in shaky English.
If you find a mistake, please tell me secretly.

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